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  Unwillingly, her mind drifted to the conversation she'd overheard. She couldn't in good conscience blame Val for her bitterness. The woman had invested much more than she had in their relationship the previous year and had been devastated when Marika abruptly broke it off with little explanation beyond the standard, "It's not working for me."

  Marika realized acutely that she was bone tired of brief, unsatisfying relationships. She longed for what she'd glimpsed in Terry's eyes but, brutally honest with herself, knew that even without Jan in the picture, Terry would never have looked at her like that.

  Wryly she amused herself for a few minutes contemplating swearing off women forever. Laying one arm over her eyes, she drifted mentally, thinking of the women who'd slipped in and out of her life. Reluctantly her thoughts turned to Cass. She knew Lee was right about the woman, knew that Cass was bad for her and that if she was smart, she'd stay far away. She was keenly aware that what went on between them could never in a million years be described as love, yet it satisfied her needs without any attendant complications and thus far, she'd been unsuccessful at breaking their strange bond.

  Rolling over, she buried her head in her arms and, emotionally exhausted, soon fell asleep. She had no idea how much time had passed when a hand shaking her shoulder woke her up. Turning on her side, she blinked up at Lee who was regarding her worriedly.

  "Hey, are you okay? Dana said you were ill," the big woman asked with concern.

  Marika yawned a little and, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed, sat up. "Yes, I'm fine, Lee. Sorry about that. I didn't mean to fall asleep. What time is it?"

  "Going on nine. I've been so busy I didn't even notice you weren't around until Terry asked me if I'd seen you. I thought you were in the kitchen, but she said you weren't there." Lee had crouched to peer closely at her friend's face.

  "Probably just a little bug, Lee. I think I'll bow out if you don't mind. Give me a good night's sleep, and I should be fine in the morning."

  "Okay," Lee said slowly. "Look, do you want me to drive you home?"

  The blonde smiled at her overprotective friend. "No, you have guests to attend to. I'm fine, really, just a little tired."

  Following Lee up the stairs, Marika glanced down the hall to see that the party was still going strong in the backyard. When her friend started to turn down the hall, she laid a hand on her shoulder and said, "Would you mind saying goodnight to Dana for me, Lee?"

  The big woman turned to her with surprise. "Sure you don't want to tell her yourself? She'll be disappointed she missed you, not to mention that Terry is probably still looking for you."

  "Tell Dana I'll call her in the morning and tell Terry…well, just say I wasn't up to the party, okay?" Marika looked pleadingly at Lee and her friend nodded her head reluctantly. Bidding her farewell, the blonde made a rapid exit, sighing with relief when she reached the sanctuary of her car.

  * * *

  Many hours later, when the last of their guests had departed, Lee and Dana surveyed the clutter in their backyard. Looking up at her large partner, Dana asked, "Tomorrow?"

  "Tomorrow," Lee agreed emphatically. Then with a grin, she turned the chestnut haired woman into her arms. "Besides, I've got better things to do with my best girl than pick up garbage."

  Dana melted into Lee's embrace, marveling that this woman could still make her feel weak in the knees five years after they'd first made love. She giggled as Lee took her hand, urgently pulling her towards the house. They'd barely gotten inside the doors when her eager partner was unbuttoning her blouse as fast as she could. Both of them jumped when an awkward cough sounded from behind them.

  Dana dropped her head on her lover's chest as Lee cleared her throat and growled, "Danny…what are you doing up at this hour?"

  "Uh, my stomach's bothering me, and I couldn't find anything for it in the bathroom."

  Dana, who'd been discreetly rebuttoning her blouse in the shelter of Lee's large frame, stepped around her partner and motioned to her son. "I've got more in the supply room. Come with me." With a quick glance at her frustrated partner, she added, "Considering all the junk you ate tonight, I'm not the least bit surprised you have a belly ache."

  When she finally got her son settled and returned to the master bedroom, Lee was already in bed staring at the ceiling. Dana got cleaned up quickly and, shedding her clothes, slid in beside her silent partner.

  "Hey, everything okay?" she asked. "He didn't mean to interrupt, you know. I'm sure he was more embarrassed than we were."

  "Yeah, I know. It's no big deal," Lee replied absently.

  Dana snuggled up close, laying her head on a broad shoulder. "Then what's wrong, my love?"

  Lee turned to her, a distracted look on her face. "I figured since I had a few minutes that I'd give Marika a call just to make sure she was doing all right."

  "It's awfully late," Dana chastised gently. "We could've called in the morning."

  "I know," Lee dropped her eyes in chagrin. "I didn't think of the time. I was just…"

  "Worried," Dana completed with an affectionate smile. "You're a good friend, my love. So how was she?"

  "She didn't answer," Lee said agitatedly. "She's not there."

  Dana stroked her hand over Lee's belly comfortingly. "She's probably just asleep and turned off the phone so she wasn't bothered."

  Lee stilled her partner's hand with her own, shaking her head. "I don't think so, Dana. I think she went to that bitch again."

  "Who? Cass? But Lee, she hasn't seen her since that time, has she?" Dana protested. "Surely she wouldn't go back to her after that."

  "I didn't think so either," Lee shook her head despairingly. Gathering the stocky woman into her strong arms she whispered, "I didn't tell you, but Marika confessed that she was with her last weekend."

  "Oh god, no! Why would she do that?" Dana said in disbelief. "Jesus, when I think of how she was when we found her that time…"

  "Yeah," Lee agreed grimly. "I didn't think she'd ever go back after that either, but she has; and nothing I say seems to be reaching her."

  The two women lay in silence, drawing comfort from their embrace. Finally Dana spoke quietly, "What can we do, Lee? I'm afraid for her."

  "So am I, sweetheart. And I don't know."

  Chapter Five

  LEE TURNED HER pick-up into the driveway of Marika's condo tower and pulled into visitor parking beside a vaguely familiar battered old silver Toyota. Getting out, she saw Terry sitting on the brick edge of the raised flower gardens that bracketed the covered entrance way. As she walked towards the other woman, she noticed a despondent look on the normally cheerful face. Sighing, she guessed that Terry was here for much the same reason she was.

  "Hey, Terry, how's it going," Lee asked as she got close.

  Terry glanced up with a look of relief on her face. "Not bad, Lee. Are you here to see Marika, too?"

  "Uh huh." Lee paused and studied the other woman. "I take it she's not answering her intercom?"

  The tall young woman shook her head. "No, she's not. She didn't answer her phone this morning when I called either. Because of the stupid security, I can't get into the garage to check and see if her car's there. I even tried ringing through to the Superintendent, but no one answered." Terry stared up at Lee with a small frown. "What if she's really sick and can't get to her phone or something?"

  Lee considered her soberly then said, "C'mon, I've got keys to get in. Let's go check."

  The big woman opened the door and held it for her young friend to walk by. Quickly they crossed the lobby to the dual elevators and pressed the button. Making small talk while they waited, Lee asked, "So where's Jan this morning?"

  An involuntary smile broke over Terry's face at the thought of her partner. "She and my Mom are brainstorming over coffee and doughnuts. They're both on the organizing committee for the summer food bank drive, and they have some big meeting tomorrow night that they're getting ready for."

  The elevator arrived and the wome
n entered. Terry pressed the button for the fifteenth floor and glanced at Lee. "Where's Dana this morning?"

  Lee grinned. "She's monitoring Danny's grounding. She's got him picking up garbage and stuff in the back yard."

  Smiling back Terry said, "It was a terrific party, Lee. Jan and I both had a great time."

  "Glad you did," Lee said approvingly. "I wouldn't want to do it every week, but we had fun putting it on too. The turn-out was pretty impressive."

  Terry chuckled at that. "I'll say. I ran into people there I haven't seen in ages. I don't know how you fit them all in your yard. I hope your neighbours weren't too bothered by our noise."

  Shaking her head, Lee smiled. "No, we solved that problem by inviting them too. Did you see the man with the wild red Hawaiian shirt on?"

  The young woman snorted. "You mean the guy that just about knocked Robyn's cake off the table when he was trying to limbo?"

  Lee nodded, snickering. "Yeah, well that's the dentist who lives next door to us, and somehow I don't think he was in any shape to complain about anything."

  Chuckling the two women stepped out of the elevator onto the fifteenth floor. Thick carpets muffled the sounds of their footsteps as they walked down the hall to Marika's door at the far end.

  Tapping lightly on the door, Terry cocked her head as she listened for any sounds from within. When several repetitions failed to elicit any response, Lee used her key to let them in.

  "Marika?" Terry called softly as she did a quick check of the living room and kitchen before walking down the hall to the bedrooms. Lee didn't bother to follow her, sure that their friend wasn't at home. Instead, she bent to stroke the gray cat that had come to greet them.

  "Hey, Spook. Did your momma leave you alone again? Bet you're hungry aren't you?" Lee couldn't help a grin as the cat promptly padded over to the kitchen and stood looking at her expectantly. The big woman always cared for the cat when Marika had to go out of town on business and Spooky knew this human was a reliable source of food.

  Grabbing a tin of food out of the pantry, Lee ran it under the electric can opener and spooned it out, trying to work around Spooky who had his nose right in the dish. Refilling the water dish, she set that down on the floor too and turned to see her companion standing in the doorway.

  "She's not here, Lee," Terry said uncertainly. "Do you think she's all right? I mean, if she wasn't feeling well last night..." Her voice trailed off as her eyes looked to the big woman for reassurance.

  Running a hand through her short hair, Lee sighed. "C'mon, Terry. Let's sit down."

  Puzzled, the young woman trailed after her friend and took a seat on the couch. On the other end of the couch, Lee studied her hands and tried to decide how much to divulge. Looking up, she saw Terry studying her intently.

  "What's going on, Lee? Do you know where Marika is? Is she okay?" The words had an angry edge, as if the younger woman suspected that secrets were being kept from her.

  Lee leaned back and half-turned to face Terry. "I think I probably know where Marika is, and no, she's not okay." At the instant look of alarm on the other woman's face, Lee held up a hand. "No, I don't mean that she's in any immediate danger." She hesitated for a moment and then said, "I probably shouldn't say anything. I doubt very much that she'd want you to know, but God knows I haven't been able to reach her and maybe you can."

  Shaking her head in bewilderment, Terry demanded, "What are you talking about, Lee? If Marika's in trouble, we have to help her!"

  With a sad smile, Lee shook her head. "She doesn't want any help and frankly other than hogtying her to keep her here, I'm not sure what we can do."

  Terry stood up and paced restlessly. "Damnit, Lee! Stop being deliberately obtuse and tell me what the hell is going on!"

  Lee regarded the agitated woman and said softly, "You do care about her, don't you?"

  That stopped Terry in her tracks and spinning around, she glared at the big woman. "Of course I do. I may not have known her as long as you, Lee, but she's my friend too."

  Holding up a placating hand, Lee gestured to the couch. "Why don't you sit down, and I'll tell you what I know."

  Still perturbed, Terry flung herself onto the couch and fixed worried eyes on her companion.

  Rubbing her temple to ease an incipient headache, Lee tried to decide where to start and how much to reveal. Choosing her words carefully, she began, "Terry, Marika's gotten herself into a bad relationship and for some reason, either doesn't want to or can't break free."

  Reading the startled look on her friend's face, Lee grimaced. "Look, let me start from the beginning. About two months ago, on a Sunday morning, Dana and I dropped by unexpectedly. Danny was with his Dad and we were going out for brunch, so we thought we'd see if Marika wanted to come with us."

  Terry nodded encouragingly but kept silent.

  "I never bother with the intercom 'cause I just use my keys to let myself in. Anyway, Dana and I get up to 'Rika's floor and we're walking down the hall when we see a woman leaving her apartment. No big deal right? I mean she's a big girl and if she's had overnight company, it's none of our business."

  "Did you recognize the woman?" Terry asked curiously.

  "No, I didn't. She really wasn't anything out of the ordinary," Lee said in a troubled voice. "But there was something about her, Ter."

  She was silent for a moment recalling that morning. Finally, Terry blurted, "What? What was there about her?"

  Biting her lip, Lee tried to put into words the disturbing impression the stranger had made. "I'm not sure if I can describe it, but it was her eyes. They were dead cold, kinda like that picture of Karla Homolka, you know the one I mean?"

  Terry nodded. "Yeah, the one when she was going into court and her eyes were so flat you wondered if she even had a soul."

  The two women shuddered in mutual repugnance at the thought of the infamous sex killer, and then Lee went on, "That's exactly what they were like, but it was also the way she sauntered down the hall as if she owned the world and it existed only to serve her. Not to mention the triumphant smirk on her lips when she saw us watching her. She wasn't in the least bit fazed, even though we met her just as she was coming out of the apartment. She just slung this backpack over her shoulder and walked right past us like we were nothing. Not even a nod of acknowledgement."

  The younger woman had edged closer during the narrative. Concerned she asked, "Did you go in?"

  "Oh yeah," Lee snorted. "We did, and we found Marika huddled in a corner of her bedroom, just staring into space. Damn, Terry, I've never seen her like that before. She was totally unresponsive. Didn't even blink when I waved my hand in front of her face."

  Lee felt her throat close as she remembered the lost, desolate look in her friend's gray eyes. "I was just about freaking out, ready to call 911 if she didn't snap out of it, but Dana took over. She sent me to run a hot bath and sat on the floor, cuddling Marika and talking to her like she talks to Danny when he's hurt."

  Glancing up, the big woman saw the horrified look on her companion's face and nodded grimly. "I was ready to go after the bitch who did that to her, but the thing was, when we got her into the tub, there wasn't a mark on her except for a small bruise at the base of her throat."

  "So she wasn't abused?" Terry expelled the words with relief.

  "Oh no, Ter, she was definitely abused," Lee stated angrily. "But not physically, as far as I could see. No, this was almost worse because the damage that bitch did was all internal."

  "Not...?"

  Lee could see that Terry was virtually holding her breath. "I can't say for sure. I do know she cried out when I lowered her into the water but she wouldn't let us check her out or take her to the hospital so I can't say for sure. No, what I mean is the damage that bitch has done to her heart and spirit."

  "Jesus, Lee!" Terry had gone pale. "I had no idea this was going on." Apprehensively, she stared at the big woman. "Is it still going on?"

  Sadly Lee nodded. "Yeah. At least, I know tha
t she was with her last weekend. Her name is Cass, by the way, but that's all I know about her. Marika won't talk about her. Won't even say how long ago they met, or how or where the bitch lives. After that time we found her, Marika swore she wouldn't have anything more to do with her and I really think she tried, but this woman's got some weird hold over her."

  "But why?" Terry asked plaintively. "Why would she go with someone like that? She's got so much to offer someone, and she sure as hell deserves a lot better than that."

  "Exactly what I keep telling her!" Lee stated, jabbing her finger in the air for emphasis. "But she won't listen to me. Hell, she won't even allow Dana or I to mention that day except to say that she appreciated our concern but she was fine."

  "Doesn't sound like she was fine to me," Terry mumbled.

  "No, she wasn't, but she's too damned proud to admit she might need some help."

  The women were silent for a long time, lost in contemplation. Finally Terry shook her head in confusion. "I still don't get it, Lee. I mean she's beautiful. She could have anyone she wants."

  "Not anyone," Lee responded before grimacing at her unguarded words. "Um, I mean yeah, but she's never had much luck with relationships, in case you haven't noticed."

  Terry had glanced up sharply and was studying the big woman intently. Lee shifted uneasily, hoping that her companion wouldn't pick up on unvoiced truths. Quickly, she shifted the conversation onto another track.

  "You know, I think the answer to why she'd go with Cass might be in her past," Lee offered and exhaled in relief when Terry took the bait.

  "Her past? What do you mean?" Terry asked curiously.

  "Has she told you much about her family, about her youth?" Lee inquired.

  "Not really. She's never been one for reminiscing, that's for sure. I know that her parents split up because her mother was an alcoholic. I know her father remarried, and that he's a prominent, wealthy lawyer in Toronto. And I know that she's estranged from her family because of some scandal when she was a teenager, and she hasn't seen them in years. That's about the sum of what I know." Terry looked at Lee with anticipation. "Why? What do you know?"